Is your relationship built on trust and love?
How much do you trust your partner?
Not everyone knows this, but there are seven basic steps to building trust in your relationship. The things which spring to mind, such as always making the effort to ‘spice things up’, are surprisingly not the most effective methods to long-term security. Dependability and steadiness are more crucial than change and variety; the steps which follow are certain to improve your relationship with your partner and allow trust and understanding to blossom.
As mentioned above, you need to be honest and reliable in order for your partner to trust you. This may seem counter-intuitive, seeing as the prevailing idea is that you must ‘stir things up’ to keep the flame of love from being blown out. However, while that is true in terms of the actions you do (such as buying surprise gifts, trying new things and arranging trips away), it is very important to be consistent in how you approach the relationship, so that your partner can always trust you and feel secure every day.
The engine of any successful relationship is communication. It is important to understand that your body needs to match what your mouth says. People take cues from body language and gestures much more than they do fromspeech. So if you’re saying that you’re happy – but you frown while saying it –then your partner will not believe that you’re being truthful. The expressionon your face and the tone of your voice is important because your partner needs to be able to trust everything that you say in order to feel at ease in therelationship. If you are truthful and sincere in everything you say, you definitely can’t go wrong.
A relationship without trust and honesty is a toxic relationship. Loving your partner is simply not enough; you have to make sure you have faith in his or her abilities and intentions. If you allow yourself to doubt the person you love, that personwill never fully have your trust – and the truth, if told with love, is always the best option.
Be honest and don’t keep secrets from yourpartner. Lying, or even hiding the truth, will destroy the trust embedded in the bond that you have. If you’re honest and up-front, there is nothing which can hurt you if revealed later. Secrets, and the efforts you have to take to hide them, consume the productive energy which you should be putting into making your partner feel loved.
Importantly, you must be honest with your partner in terms of saying ‘no’. It’s good for them to be open about expressing their needs – but don’t feel obligated to indulge them in something if you don’t want to do so. If you agree unconditionally to every request then you risk at best doing a lot of things you might not necessarily want to do, and at worst losing the respect of your partner. Discussing difficult issues and differences of opinion in an adult-like manner will build your partner’s trust in you.
Lastly, always try to ensure that your relationship is movingupwards and growing. In order for a flower to grow, you have to getyour hands dirty when planting it – so don’t be afraid to confront difficult or uncertain situations by talking them through with your partner. If handled correctly, they’ll become the fertilizer which helps your bond grow stronger. However, if not resolved and left to fester, they become weeds. Learn to confront and deal with turmoil, and success will be your reward.
Fostering trust in a relationship is not always easy, and occasionally you’ll come across painful or difficult issues. However, working through them will not only make you a stronger person, it’ll cement your bond to your loved one as well.
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